fuckyeahpolicydebate:

-submission from krabuhtray

whatshouldwecallme:

lol

fuckyeahpolicydebate:

readingcardsandpwningnoobs:

So I’ve been keeping a mental timeline of me 30 hours before a tournament… here’s how it went:

30 hours before tournament: I’m playing temple run on friends phone, my partners on tumblr.

20 hours before tournament: decorating tubs

17 hours: 12 tabs open, 6 word docs open, frantically trying to prep 

13 hours: mental crash

5 hours: waking up & getting dressed

Leaving to the tournament: calm

After the tournament: fuck debate! I don’t wanna do this shit anymore. 

ALTERNATE COLLEGE TIMELINE

30 hours: Check the wiki to make sure you have a general neg strat.  Curse the teams that didn’t put anything up and print off random Baudrillard files to punish them.

20 hours: Frantically print off files you’ll never use in the debate office until your coach yells at you to “get the fuck in the van”

16 hours: Complain about the backwater hamlet where the tournament is located

15 hours: Arrive at the seedy motel.  Check bedsheets for mysterious stains and dead prostitutes under the mattress

14 hours: Eat dinner at a local restaurant that will give you questionable intestinal discomfort approximately around the time you’re giving your last rebuttal speech in a break round the next day.

12 hours: Liquor store run!

11 hours: Check the wiki obsessively again, cut cards until the buzz kicks in.

10 hours 45 minutes: Say “fuck debate work” and wander the halls of the motel with a fifth in hand looking for debate peeps.

10 hours 30 minutes: Found the party, success.

10 hours: SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

9 hours 30 minutes: Argue with some judge you had two tournaments ago about their RFD

9 hours 15 minutes: SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

9 hours: Freak out when another team’s coach wanders in. Instantly chill when they get “iced” by one of their debaters.

8 hours 30 minutes: Ramble incoherently about politics.  Get really assertive even though everybody agrees with you that Gingrich is a horrible person.

8 hours: Person in hotel room has to go to bed.  Wander outside to chain smoke and pound drinks by entrance.

7 hours 30 minutes: Staff comes out and timidly requests that you keep it down.

7 hours: Staff makes up some rule about guests being outside after a certain time. I should know because I used to work at a hotel and did this all the time.

6 hours 50 minutes: Say that it’s cool if we party in your room.

6 hours 40 minutes: Wake roommates up, say “it’s totally cool man how about doing a shot?”

6 hours: Get into another argument with that one judge about that bogus RFD a couple tournaments ago.

5 hours: Say “fuck it man I know it’s a non-smoking room but nobody will know if smoke by the window”

4 hours: Hope that the other team’s coach is drunk enough to reveal if their debaters are breaking a new aff

3 hours 50 minutes: Convince other teams coach to shotgun a beer.

3 hours 40 minutes: Succeed at finding out their new aff that they plan on breaking in elim rounds

3 hours 15 minutes: Go to sleep

1 hour 15 minutes: Crawl into van with splitting hangover

1 hour: bagels, coffee, adderall

30 minutes: Schematics posted: you’re hitting the best team in the district first round.